quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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