The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Are we still banned from the library?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
