"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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