I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
