she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
