I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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