i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
