I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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