That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
