i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
