shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just found puke in my bra..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
