someone threw a dead crab at me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
