Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
