Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
