i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
