Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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