I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
