I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
