it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
