Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
