You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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