My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
