I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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