How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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