ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
