when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
