Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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