yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
