Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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