What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
as a side note pls kill me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
