Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
