Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
And then he peed in my hair
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