I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
