guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
