Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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