I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
