I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
