What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
