her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
