he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
