Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
