too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
