Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
