So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
