At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
