we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
