her vagine was all disorganized.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
