Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we should paint friendship bongs
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