Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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