You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
