When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
