also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
