Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
